suicide. and when i saw the part about other schools trying to copy what we do at the university of illinois i couldn't help choke on my soda knowing how it *really* works around here. and then i opened my email to learn the unbelievable and i felt so selfish for thinking about my own situation and the confusion i sometimes feel when i don't really know what you are thinking and i feel unsettled and i try and i try and i hope.
but you are here. you are here. and that's the most important part. you are here.