Thursday, October 26, 2006
it's probably time to change my mind on that whole vaccine thing.
so i'm up. it's 2am. i'm freezing because i'm in the living room, which has major ass draft. i'm watching some damn show called platinum weddings and it's irritating me. so i must change channels. i don't care about watching people with an extra hundred grand or so to spend on ONE FUCKING DAY.
but the good news is that it's looking good for me getting a raise, which is about fucking time. i have no clue what the details are on that. but at least there's now hope.
sometimes i worry that these drugs i take to *normalize* are doing anything but that. yeah, we've been through this before. i mean i was afraid to take anything for way too long but the cocktail i'm on...i'm just not sure it's really helping much...maybe i expect too much. maybe i just need to accept that i'll always be this way and that it's ok. or is that giving in too much? giving up rather than acceptance...
Monday, October 23, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
speaking of wastes of time, i had to take that damn ethics exam that the state requires from all university employees and guess what? here's all you need to know: don't steal money, don't accept gifts from contractors trying to gain favor with the state/university (of course how would you know this unless you had the time to waste pouring over every goddamn piece of paper in this place?), and don't politic during work hours. got it. whatever. but i wish i worked in a department where filling it out was crossing the picket line...honestly? i can't afford the $5k penality from my department. but a certain other academic department is banding together and NOT filling it out to fight the system to say that it would be unethical to fill out the ethics exam with the answers that they want because by doing that (see question #10), you pretty much violate the whole damn system by answering it correctly (ie, "yes").
but it's not MY department. of course not. instead we pay attention to procedure, as procedure is important to follow because that's what good citizens of freedom do...follow...follow...follow the rules because if you don't then the terrorists win. i remember when there was some point of my life where i believed that our college was somehow counterculture. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. we're so far up the administration's ass it's ridiculous.
i know i know...don't hold back. tell me how you really feel.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
it is an amazingly small world and i think that this week i met the man my grandfather might have been had he never met my grandmother...uncanny.
time to go to the airport now...
Thursday, October 12, 2006
snow...wind...hitting me in the eyes and it's hard to take a picture of snow that's so wild and fast.
red against white. and the man at the counter demanding valium and the pharmacist said that it happens every day, she was just going to call security. my whole being is the canadian flag and will i have to pay for the damages to the linens?
so this conference has been pretty unfun for me...i did get to talk to a canadian broadcasting company reporter about game accessibility, though, and that was cool. hopefully they will air it...he said he'd email to let me know later when it would be available on their website. oh...did i tell you that i was named one of the 100 most influential women in the game industry? yeah that was shocking. but cool.
so here's what i'm think of for next summer (my target "prize" for defending my dissertation. go to china for HCII and then spend a few weeks travelling around asia and then hit digra/tokyo game show then i don't have to endure four 18 hour flights a month apart in time and maybe i can see hong kong, thailand, vietnam, maybe korea unless that loon in north korea has blown up the whole region...that would significantly damper that trip...
and, no, i'm not leaving ontario until friday so that gets me another day away from the latest airline/airport mess thanks to that baseball player flying into a new york apartment building and then jesse and i pretending we were fox news covering "the hidden terrorist agenda" no matter what the truth actually turned out to be...but tomorrow is thesis super work day now that the conference is done and done tomorrow morning and there's nothing i'm particularly interested in seeing tomorrow morning so it was technically done and done today.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
btw, a handfull of people have walked up to me and said "aren't you one of the 100 most influential women in the games industry?" is it the red hair?
the other day c and i were walking around downtown and we passed by this other couple who was talking in disbelief about "how dare there be an anti-american protest" (read: it was probably an anti-war protest...remember we live in bush country where everything is black or white) and if they hate this land of the free so much then they should go to iraq. uh, yeah, well...that's the point of the protest...we've fucked up iraq so much that the people of iraq are no doubt saying "wow. thanks...thanks a lot for completely wrecking our country." so perhaps our "either you love america or you hate it" couple can go visit iraq themselves and see what we've done there...maybe we all should.
anyway, this afternoon when i arrived for the talks i wanted to see...i saw one on qualitative research and i was like FUCK YEAH they JUST gave me a place to, well, place my dissertation. basically the talk...just that talk made it 100% worth the trip to ontario. i could see no other talks and that would be ok because i saw that talk. the light at the end of the tunnel just got a lot brighter.
Monday, October 09, 2006
it seemed that people seemed uncomfortable by my having a table for one but fuck it. i mean it's not like i'm not used to having thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant...and it's not my thanksgiving anyway (we, however, in the states are *celebrating* columbus day...). but, you know, it was no big deal for me and there's no way i was paying room service charges. christ.
i've mapped out pharmacies in the local area and i really don't think i'm gonna have a problem getting the canada-only cramp meds...
Thursday, October 05, 2006
it's been a strange day...but it's not like that really sets the day apart from any other of my days. i'm still pretty weirded out by the fictional conversation that happened last night. and i'm wearing the shoes i bought at century 21 next to the world trade center back in, uh, 1998 but the strange thing is that they are back in style, at least here in the US. and i'm wearing red lipstick and it dawns on me that you can't really pull off red until you've hit your 30s. you just end up feeling like a clown any time before that...
no word from my family and i suppose i deserve that. i really don't know anymore...but, you know? they forgot my 18th birthday too...funny.