after a while you stop marking the number of days it's been, the number of weeks, months, and even years...since you saw them that last time, the last time. they cease to stay at the forefront...they get shuffled in with the rest...those you lost in your 20s...in your 30s...in your 40s...sleight of hand, jump off the end. into a clear lake, no one around.you hug yourself closely, tightly and you wish it were them instead. but there's no going back, you can't get those instances back, you can't get them back. and if you could get them back? would you change anything? could you change anything? would you be the same person that assumes that they will be there forever, or at least long past you? could you be anything else, honestly?just dragonflies, flying to the side. no one gets hurt, you're doing nothing wrong.drink deeply, drink long...the only place you can see them is in dreaming...the only place you can cry is in water so no one wonders...slide your hand, jump off the end. the water's clear and innocent. the water's clear and innocent.clear and innocent. remember that day?