Monday, June 08, 2009

social media is really out of control...seriously. i just want to write old school letters and forget that people want to snipe you every chance that they get. i mean i'm sick. i almost died. i did die for a minute. i'm asking for common courtesy and all i get back is why i am an evil person. really? am i really that bad?

no. it's not from everyone. it's really from people i don't even know and have never actually met. i mean i guess they can be sick but if i say i am...forget it. they go after me like vultures. and you know what they say if you think this is about you? most people reading my blog know that i'm probably not likely talking about them. i just don't have time to react to people who are spoiled brats...not personally anyway. it just goes into a special file in my brain that's titled "seriously?"

i'm really tired. and i really hurt. and thank GOD that there have been people reaching out to me to ask if i'm doing ok, can we help you...or i'd probably be very very sad right now...because i'd probably have lost my faith in a lot right about now. i am blessed, i am lucky that this is not the case at all. for the first time in my life i can reach out and old and new friends have been helping and i'm amazingly moved...because i don't know why they do it...yes, that's a reflection on my own dark past and not them...i'm just proud to know that the world isn't as cold as some others have been treating me...

5 comments:

Cynthia said...

Sadly email provides the opportunity for interlocutors to treat one another as sources of information, rather than as fellow human beings. So when the humanity gets in the way of the information (like, say, a really painful recovery and omg DYING temporarily), some people just focus on the lack of information. "Why won't you respond to me? Why? What is wrong with you, information source? Why are you so disfunctional? Get it together!"

It's really fairly tragic. I'm sorry it's happening to you. Hang in there.

Gemini said...

It can be really hurtful and annoying when random strangers take up the cause of causing anonymous pain - just think that they're probably in tremendous emotional pain and trying to alleviate that. No excuse, of course. The way to healing oneself is to help heal others. I think the reverse is also true ;-) My thoughts and prayers are with you. You've pulled through everything to this point; trust that you'll make it to a peaceful and happy point soon!

So, when you were "mostly dead" (Princess Bride reference), did you see a light at the end of the tunnel? Any transformative experiences to share?

Chin up!!

OneSwitch.org.uk said...

I've finally got around to reading "To Kill a Mockingbird". Might be a good re-read for you, Michelle? These sound like damaged people - but they'll likely have some good in them too. I just feel sorry for people that are that sad.

Keep plodding on! And forward any ruderies my way - I'll sort them out for you!

Michelle Hinn said...

Yeah, the annoying thing is that I'm just not the right person to be picking on right now...I do feel sad for those who feel that their only outlet for their pain is to hide behind twitter (that's my main social tech that I'm being harassed via) and lash out. I do. I wish I could help. But I don't know why they are so mad at me and it's especially annoying when I don't even know them (at least I don't think I do).

I've given up on email...I still have (yes) over 4000 emails I have yet to answer or do something with. I wish I could send an after the fact bulk reply to say "hey, I'm getting there but it hurts to sit up!!!"

Cynthia said...

Dearest darling Michelle, I just fell in love with your HUGE compassionate heart all over again (the Adolescent Development missing student thing was the last time), because even in the midst of your pain, one of your reactions to the people who are sniping you is "I wish I could help." God bless your beautiful soul. Even if you were someone awful in a past life, as you've often speculated, you're an angel in this one. *hugs*