Wednesday, June 03, 2009

i should start blogging again...i have too much to say for facebook, WAY too many characters to say it in stupid twitter...i just want to blog/journal whether or not i have readers or not.

so i hurt. the open part of the incision will probably hurt for 2-4 more weeks...more painkillers...i just want to be free of it all. i thought, earlier, that chris was in the office when the tears started streaming down my face but he was around the corner and saw me's every bit of movement, every breath, every sneeze, laugh, all brings in the pain and it makes me so frustrated with my is in the near future to get my muscles moving better once i can leave bed weight is 10 pounds under where it was before the surgery (even with the sidebar of having gained 35 pounds of fluids during my two weeks in the hospital...lost it all plus ten more. not sure i needed that extra ten to go though...but i'm glad that i lost the 35 fluid pounds! how did i do it? laid around in bed reading and watching tv with my feet propped up on some pillows. i was tough but i did it. lol.

i'll write more about this but i'm still trying to figure out how this whole "dead for under a minute" thing makes me feel...did i go anywhere? is there anything out there? and what does that make returning to this place, to this heaven and hell mean?

1 comment:

Charise HS said...

Wow- that is powerful writing. It's impossible to grasp the depths of the challenges others face during life.

Just hearing about your illness early this morning made me appreciate the natural beauty of life during my morning run. I couldn't help but admire the beauty of the sky and the natural foliage outside (while keeping a respectful look-out for snakes!)

Sometimes I catch myself complaining about such superficial crap and I know that there are others that really have a reason to cry out for mercy.

I do believe in God and heaven and feel confident that everyone experiences pains in life; either physical or emotional and heaven frees us from those pains.

I am here for you Michelle, and I will pray for you each night. I believe in the power of prayer as I have seen many answers to questions and challenges I have faced in life; through prayer.

I will also be sending a small something soon.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and I hope things get much better very soon!