Monday, September 26, 2011

tired...so tired...

4:14 am when i'm starting this. i spend so much time on the social networking war between facebook and google+ that i forget to blog...and i forget to journal...and...i forget to live.

i'm not sure why i'm awake right now...i should try and sleep again...i think it's because chris is finally coming home after being in kenya for the last 11 days...although he probably won't get back to ny until after 3pm with customs...and i, of course, have physical therapy at 4pm...so i have the feeling that we'll have a "hit and miss" with the phone call before he collapses from exhaustion...like i should be doing now.

i'm so unhappy right now. i mean not because of anything happening *right now* but overall. i need to make some major changes in my life. i've shoved the art to the background. my research is on hold while i figure out the when and where of my latest medical saga. i'm completely broke. my heart is heavy because the love of my life lives so far away. i'm a little over a week from my 41st birthday. someone told me i should consider botox. oh ok. is that covered by my insurance? physical therapy has been going ok but i'm wondering what this weekend's hospital stay for the hernia that cropped up while i'm dealing with the incisional hernia will do to my PT program.

i've been so bad at chronicling my life in greater detail than 140 character tweets and 520 character facebook status updates the last few years...when meanwhile i have paper journals and this blog that allows for a more full "writing as therapy" even if no one reads it at all.

well that's enough for the moment...if anything it's an attempt at a "restart" to this ten-year old blog...

4 comments:

R. Lance said...

Better now than never. :)

melolyric said...

Dear Michelle
I noticed your blogg because of the lyric in the last text.
Now when i red those lines,i can only agree with you, about using this blogging as some kind of therapy.. I started blogging yesterday, and i feel like crossing borders..hoping that people who reads blogs will reflect over things they read..
And that talk about botox.. wht good will it bring - for the soul?
Best regards from melolyric

Vincent Silver said...

I was just exploring when i saw your blog, and stop a while to read some of your passages.
Well, life can be exhausting, it's an experience with pain all the way, i guess you know this more than me, i'm just 24 years old. But writing, can be a good therapy indeed, i started young and at that time i didn't even know why, but recently i realized the same as you, that this is some kind of therapy. Well, just hope this words will help you know that other people are struggling through difficulties in life and that i know the aches of life as well. Good luck with the journey ahead :)

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