i know that things eventually must change, that after a while we no longer can live in our comfort zones, that we can no longer count on our comfort zones even existing anymore. i wonder how close to danger i walk as i try to find something stable, someone stable. can safety exist with freedom? how much must we compromise to find "safe?"

i'm amazed...stunned...now that the mask has fully come off and your beautiful lie has completely fallen apart. and i think that it must have been so tiring for you, no wonder you needed a break...you must have been exhausted. i guess once i saw the walls start to crumble, the foundation sinking into the ground...it was better for you to run and protect your creation than to let me see what was really you...maybe i'd come too dangerously close to figuring it all out...but, dear, i have figured it out.

i loved the you that was before i said that i loved you. then...click...click...click...me, crying on the tube, at the cinema at that tragic sense of life portrayed in so many heartbreaking ways and you said it was only a book, only a movie...and yet...

and yet.