Sunday, December 08, 2002

i'm completely covered with paint. well, no, not really COMPLETELY covered. i was in "project mode" today and you know that usually means that i'm up to no good. at least i didn't destroy the apartment...this time. anyway, it was a pretty ok weekend in general and isn't it funny how my depression seems to be lifting now that it is 4000 degrees below zero? i have some kind of fucked up reverse SAD or something.

watched in the gloaming again on hbo this afternoon and thought of marvin. and i thought about what it means to go home to die...when do you decide it's time? i miss how funny you were marvin...i miss how completely, completely outrageous you were and how you sometimes told me WAY too much information. perhaps you meant to shock me. perhaps it was because you really needed me or someone or anyone to listen. i'll never really know and it doesn't really matter which it was or what else it could have been now but i hope that i heard...completely heard...all you wanted to tell me.

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