i am numb and it brings me comfort for a time. i want to feel nothing right now as to feel anything more would shatter me. i have felt enough of grief for now and i have had enough.

i want so badly to know. jesse tells me that all it would be would be a story, some kind of list of possible reasons that are useless. like trying to describe why exactly you hate a song...trying to get to the essence of the thing would prove quite fruitless. why does love die? there are simply no easy answers and probably no real truth to be had.