ok, too few posts lately, i know. i'm not sure where the time has been going. no, scratch that. i know. i think i'm finally getting out of the funk of the week before thanksgiving when everything seemed so random and out of control and i didn't know if i had the strength to do what was right...which drove me madder than i already am, trying to figure out if i had the strength to not fall, not fail, and end up doing what was just easy...just pass things off.

but who else would have been there? i don't know if i was the best person, given my penchant for dark humor during desperate times...i do it to help myself through it, to try not to break down...but i don't know if it's the best course of action for everyone else exactly...

as dr b said earlier in the week...we're smart people...but we aren't perfect people. and, damn, i was far, far from perfect during the time we were figuring out what exactly that t-shirt would say as the original shift came back to work, assaulted by memories of everything i've been through in this life...and i was there to protect my charges as best as i could, protect them from some of the insanity of spending time in hospitals, without trying to hide the reality of, the severity of the situation in a whole showboat down denial river...not just in egypt, you know...