posting from a mac in c's secret lab-or-atory...took many digi pix and lomos of some of the fancy finery and findings and who knew that poison liquids...or at least liquids that look poisonous when in lab-like glassware...could make such interesting photo lenses? ok, maybe i had my suspicions. but while i'm typing this, i'm waiting for the dollar store barbie and toy army soldiers and packing peanuts to finish up in the giant silver autoclave and i hope that they've all melted together well along with the plastic fruit and meanwhile c is in the "red room." red rum???? RED RUM!!!!!

sshhhh. ok it's just the room with mysterious red kool-aid style liquids that i'm sure if i drank would turn me into...

stay tuned until next time...

like clockwork, it's still like clockwork and i wonder how so many years went by with the anger seething inside and threatening to break lose at any minute and what the fuck if it did? what the fuck if it did. fifteen years...twenty-nine years...tick tock, tick tock...could i have made another choice? what if i had made another choice? it's a cancer that i can't cut out and i can either control it or let it destroy me but i can't remove it, there's no way to remove it and i think of angry mad thoughts on the couch in his office and i wonder if i have the courage to let them out yet?

period day! yay!

uh, ok...anyway some civic unrest over here but luckily it was mostly in our heads so no body count right now to speak of. i'm working on my online photo gallery so i'll let you know when the london pix are up...of course i seem to be on a psychotic travel schedule these days...vienna next month, plus maybe prague too. i've been busy with the diss so i keep forgetting to post here but i hope everyone is doing ok.