Saturday, October 27, 2001

are you out there amy? it's been almost nine years's funny how the years go by. sitting in the ct office, trying to help with the ads for the station...that's where i saw your picture. and you had already gone away. the three of us never did say goodbye. i guess maybe rod and i never really thought that we'd ever not be here. but i think you knew. some day i'll return to the place where we were. and i'll walk down to the beach from the pension. and i'll remember the tears that had no place in the lives of the young. and i'll think of dolphins and discos and sweaters and silly phrases...all the things that remind me of you. thanks to you, i'm not simply an observer any more.

all alone as i walked by the banks of the river...hello jimmy. i think i always understood. i wish that i could have told you...but i never realized what exactly it was until i heard about the freedom that you had tried to find. but you're free now. that much i believe is true. i wish that things had not been so scripted so that you had to hide who you were...i wish that i could have reached out and told you that i knew, that it would be ok...i wish i had known to tell you that you would grow to be more brave than you ever realized that you could be. someday i'll return to the dusty stage. and i'll remember our talks after the shows and the talks about uncertain futures and unspoken paths. thanks to you, i'm no longer satisfied with not being who i am.


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