when i got to seattle -- my detox from all the crap with paul and a few other cast of characters (or has it been the past few years that have actually been the detox from the detox?) -- i remember tom and i having a discussion about how everyone owns the movie but the real question is -- can you ever watch it again? but these days we have shows about drugs every damn night it seems on A&E's intervention that requiem is no longer that big a deal. drugs. lives going down the drain. same old.
Friday, June 20, 2008
brilliant.
when i got to seattle -- my detox from all the crap with paul and a few other cast of characters (or has it been the past few years that have actually been the detox from the detox?) -- i remember tom and i having a discussion about how everyone owns the movie but the real question is -- can you ever watch it again? but these days we have shows about drugs every damn night it seems on A&E's intervention that requiem is no longer that big a deal. drugs. lives going down the drain. same old.
when i got to seattle -- my detox from all the crap with paul and a few other cast of characters (or has it been the past few years that have actually been the detox from the detox?) -- i remember tom and i having a discussion about how everyone owns the movie but the real question is -- can you ever watch it again? but these days we have shows about drugs every damn night it seems on A&E's intervention that requiem is no longer that big a deal. drugs. lives going down the drain. same old.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
the sirens are going off...it's officially tornado season for champaign-urbana. i must say...i don't feel freaked out like i did when I first got here. apparently we're going to get 60mph hail and a whole hell of a lot thunder and lightning in, oh, minutes from now...
Sunday, June 01, 2008
not sure if you've been watching the tudors but you know me when i get in one of these moods where i try to find the just in an injust world...and i watch things like "wit" where all we can do is focus on the commas to keep from crying about the lonely life of academics.
i have two months of back work i need to do this summer, along with everything else in the world going on. or is it that the world is going on and i am nothing? i can't easily answer that question.
i can't wait to be finished with this whole degree. but i'm tired and it's getting harder to keep going on like this. so i must move on, i must move toward other things but how do i do that when i lost the will so long ago?
i remember lucia and i once making contingency plans in case we weren't really cut out for this business. she, of course, made it to the end, got married, got a great job at a great university...i don't begrudge her any of that -- she earned it all and earned it via a tough, tough road.
but i'm still here. and it's grim.
i have two months of back work i need to do this summer, along with everything else in the world going on. or is it that the world is going on and i am nothing? i can't easily answer that question.
i can't wait to be finished with this whole degree. but i'm tired and it's getting harder to keep going on like this. so i must move on, i must move toward other things but how do i do that when i lost the will so long ago?
i remember lucia and i once making contingency plans in case we weren't really cut out for this business. she, of course, made it to the end, got married, got a great job at a great university...i don't begrudge her any of that -- she earned it all and earned it via a tough, tough road.
but i'm still here. and it's grim.
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