cafe paradiso and listening to sufjan sing about this state and its affairs and i think about how we were talking about my bipolar ego and if you only knew how much i want a cigarette right now even though i don't smoke and i write about the social construction of rules and i wonder how .... and .... they are and how, yeah phil, we know...the game is still being played only there's no way to stop it really, is there?

all we can do is try to do better than we did on our last turn. you don't have to be proud of the last time, especially if it's the last time. but let's not kid around...let's not pretend we'll keep in touch if we haven't been when we've been so close. but we don't have to forget. and we can feel the sorrow for the loss of who we were when we learn that one of us has passed out of this place.