so i skipped about a month and a half on this thing. sometimes life is just too much to put online...to those of you that think i put everything on here? not even close. but anyway it's now 2008. a new year. a new start. maybe i'll finally figure out who i am and who i want to be. last year was dramatic. today's ok.

i'm doing one of my favorite dissertation tasks (a.k.a. need to procrastinate? read another book!)...the lit review. i wish i had a copy of my quals still...i probably do somewhere but, you know, maybe i should just forget it existed. kind of like my advisor at the time did when he asked me the next week to write up a lit review of what i'd just written a lit review about as part of my quals. did you understand that? don't worry...it's not really that important.no one knows what its like
to be the bad (wo)man
to be the sad (wo)man
behind blue eyes

no one knows what its like
to be hated
to be fated
to telling only lies

but my dreams
they arent as empty
as my conscience seems to be

i have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance
thats never free

no one knows what its like
to feel these feelings
like i do
and i blame you

no one bites back as hard
on their anger
none of my pain and woe
can show through

but my dreams
they arent as empty
as my conscience seems to be

i have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance
thats never free

when my fist clenches, crack it open
before I use it and lose my cool
when i smile, tell me some bad news
before I laugh and act like a fool

if i swallow anything evil
put your finger down my throat
if i shiver, please give me a blanket
keep me warm, let me wear your coat

no one knows what its like
to be the bad (wo)man
to be the sad (wo)man
behind blue eyes
with apologies to the who for my letter additions...