technically speaking, i was fired on the 19th. that's because of the whole banner fuck up with my med insurance, etc that happened right before thanksgiving. only i'm just finding this out.

why was i fired? computer glitch that has collapsed my whole house of cards. of course this begs the question...so i'm going to work tonight, why?

there are many terms for this kind of behavior of mine. saint/sinner. sucker. idiot. the guy who hoards the stapler in the movie "office space." i guess there's also "actually gives a shit" and "person who hates the system so much that they'd go to work for free just to completely and utterly annoy the people who have to figure out what to do with all those clocked in hours that have appeared on their computer unexplained." freud would have called this...uh...something to do with my parents, only in german. all probably fitting terms. especially the translated in german bit. everything sounds more severe in german. not just german...but german for sure.

i'm now trying to come to terms why exactly my face has broken out...it's not like i don't know the answer (period in t-minus 3 days)...i'm just not able to comprehend, at this moment, how much i owe in medical bills thanks to the ol' insurance cancellation trick (if you are thinking over 10 grand...you are close!) and what reality show do i need to win in order to raise that cash...which means anything minor that happens in my life (flood, fire, face breakouts) just can't get processed.

yeah i was kidding about the flood and fire being minor events. thought i'd clear that up before it happened to me.

the gift of life. some days it's like that sweater you got for your birthday that you hate but can't bring back and have to wear it every time you see the person who gave it to you in order to avoid major ass conflict.