my favorite new sticker that i swiped from my dad's vet clinic while at home: may cause drowsiness -- third eyelid may appear.

ok i'm back in c-u now, it's not really that cold either. usually when i get back from break, i come back to find that the town has been hit by the famous "freeze the city" plot device used on general hospital at some point in the 80s when laura was taken captive by some zillionaire who apparently had nothing better to do with his money that create a machine to freeze some stupid soap opera town. but it totally makes sense that he'd use it on this town because of, you know, the scenery. i mean it really is in the running for "best portrayal of a post-apcolytic town in a dark comedy" at this year's oscars. look it up in your almanacs kids! and tell homeland security that i said "hi."

the contest is over, the winners have been notified. the name of the secret restaurant was la cote d'or. i recommend the raspberries in caramel sauce.

haha...ok, ok...so i'm not done with googlism quite yet. this may be better than any career counseling test...here are some things that i could be:

• michelle is featured on mtv's "house of style"
  
• michelle is a highly underrated comic actress
  
• michelle is a writer
  
• michelle is now a member of the research staff at xerox parc
  
• michelle is really helping us modernize the bond films
  
• michelle is already a legend
  
• michelle is a codehead
  
• michelle is a real estate agent that is known in the community of york for their dedicated client service
  
• michelle is devoted to the issues of protecting our country
  
• michelle is a very outgoing girl and she loves meeting and playing with other children
  
• michelle is the winner of more gold medals than any other female figure skater in the usa and in the world
  
• michelle is sustaining electrical engineering designs for the international space station
  
• michelle is busy orchestrating eye screenings in illinois and teaching dance to her students at the academy of dance arts
  
• michelle is a loving mother and beautiful wife
  
• michelle is the managing editor of the australian astronomy research journal
  
• michelle is well known for her role in the bbc tv series eastenders
  
• michelle is in fact a welsh sheep farmer who drives a lorry
  
• michelle is the winner of seven world championship titles
  
• michelle is involved with numerous community volunteer efforts
  
• michelle is the regional account manager responsible for sales in scotland
  
• michelle is a graphic artist who likes bands like scratch acid
  
• michelle is an entrepreneur who has created and operated several successful business ventures
  
• michelle is a gifted communicator who has the ability to entertain young people as she ministers through song
  
• michelle is gaining strength and becoming more dangerous
  

ok...i'm semi back now. only i have pneumonia. nice flu follow up. so i've been sleeping lots, dreading xmas, messing around with pinhole cameras, sleeping, experiencing psychotic delusions, forgetting things, sleeping. so basically i have nothing much to report other than to advise you against getting this year's flu -- best to stick with last year's, best to stick with the classics.

ok, so a long time ago i ran my name on googlism and got some fun answers, including the knowledge that i'm offered in several formats. well, i was seeing what everyone in my blog/lj circle has been up to since i fell off the face of the earth last week and citizen kafka had a post about fun things to do with google and so after browsing around a bit at his other suggested google adventures, i headed to googlism again. this time i ran just my last name...damn it's good to share a weird-ass last name with a televangelist. check out some of my favs:

• hinn is a false prophet
• hinn is raking it in (right...)
• hinn is a typical tv evangelist
• hinn is evidence that there is no god
• hinn is an american neo
• hinn is claiming a physical appearance
• hinn is either truly crazy or downright evil
• hinn is a spiritual superstar
• hinn is the poster child for horrendous theology
• hinn is a circus freak

of course then there are these: "hinn is not as easy as you might think" and "hinn is concentrating on young teenagers now"...

cool. almost time for my nyquil nightcap. at times like these, i've come to appreciate the complete deadening of my taste buds thanks to this fucking flu. it's been one of those days where i've been barely able to stay awake all day and every once and a while i sit straight up, panicked and disoriented, and i have no friggin' clue what day it is. i mean my fingertips even hurt...that's ridiculous. conversation sample from tonight's phone call from my dad:me: dad, i'm dying from the flu.
dad: you don't have the flu...
me: no really i have the flu.
dad: the flu is just a big conspiracy. there's no such thing as the flu.
me: ok talk to you later.p.s. dc people: i'll be in town from dec 19 - dec 29.

oh my god...i'm dying from the flu. what the hell?!? i'm fine one second and then *bam* out for the count. will i make it into work tomorrow???

i.n.s.o.m.n.i.a.

what the hell did we talk about all the damn time at the bk on turner street in the burg, near the rehearsal hall...when we were supposed to be studying but clearly we were not. it was where to make the scene when we were supposed to be in some non-major class but didn't feel much like going, when we were supposed to be some place that didn't have free drink refills. and you and i, we made the scene but then would leave when it got run over because we had better places to be. and we'd drive around and around the drillfield as if we were kids cruising up and down the same one block street in some small town on some friday night. and it was always night in those days and you asked me to marry you and i said yes and we screamed out the window, we'd scream out the window at the war memorial chapel and announce that we were getting married just to see who would cheer, jeer. and then we'd burst out laughing and i'd say, very faux seriously, you know you're gay, right man? and you always said yes but that you'd still marry me in a second just to make sure that i never felt that pain again, the sting that the slap would leave. and i always cried at that part. i always cry at that part.

world aids day.
hi marvin.
1969 - 2002

ugh...36ish hour boil water order here and it's friggin' freezing and my power keeps threatening to go out and my throat really hurts from screaming into that mic last night for a few hours and, oh well, thanksgiving only comes around once a year, right?

ok, now that i've gotten this nano thing to a point where i'm gonna put it away for a while, we now return to dissertation whining already in progress...

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

whew. i feel much better now.

i'm a WINNER!!!!!!!!!

so i just got a copy of the LAST (yes, sadly they are no more) carissa's wierd [sic] cd, scrapbook, from sonic boom in seattle (thanks internet!) and on it jen, in full sadstyle mode, covers "asleep" by the smiths and i think, damn, no wonder we are all depressed after growing up at a time when the only music worth listening to at the time had lyrics like this:

sing me to sleep
sing me to sleep
i'm tired and i
i want to go to bed
sing me to sleep
sing me to sleep
and then leave me alone
don't try to wake me in the morning
'cause i will be gone
don't feel bad for me
i want you to know
deep in the cell of my heart
i will feel so glad to go
sing me to sleep
sing me to sleep
i don't want to wake up
on my own anymore

anyone else breaking through their sanitized memories? remembering being curled up in the fetal position on the floor of your room, listening to the cure, the smiths, etc, wondering how come these guys all got it when no one around you in real life did?

oh my god...you know, cramp meds and ebay do not mix...or maybe i mean that they mix too well...or something. anyway, i remembered the doctor telling me to avoid driving, lalala, the usual shit. but...but...but...he also said to avoid making snap judgments. what he should have said was "avoid going on ebay but if you must go on ebay do NOT use the 'buy it now' option under ANY circumstances while taking this medication." christ.

harlan needs a blog...harlan needs a blog...thx for letting me know that my comments thingee wasn't updating it's number count...i need to explore some better or at least other options for that since it's been annoyingly not working the majority of the time.

ooooooohhhh....i just remembered that i forgot tonight's local nanowritein at e's. shit. and i have a hell of a ways to go still. eep.

here i am. thanksgiving break. wasn't i here last year too? oh yeah...there was something about oversleeping and missing an early flight. well, whatever. this year i just decided to stay here, have a pot-luck style dinner on thursday with some others remaining here for the week...no thanksgiving travel this year, no having thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant (was that last year too?). i'm half tempted to stay here over xmas break too...i don't know yet. depends. on what? i don't know yet.

so most of you know that i've been an avid lomographer for the past two years. anyway, no matter how many rolls of film i develop i will never get over some of the strange and happy accidents that occur when you, well, lomo. i swear to god that in one of my lastest rolls, i have photographic evidence of the supernatural. either that or the quad really was on fire when i took that picture...

nano, meanwhile, is completely frustrating me. i mean my word count is fine and all but it's making feel more and more nauseous each day. i tend to cut too close to the truth for my own sanity...

"what? can you only drink in a convent?" and that had me almost in hysterics, only this time from laughter instead of the anxiety-ridden hysteria i had been in the whole session.

so i'm going back to london, with a possible/probably side trip to prague in february. yeah, fucking february. with any luck i'll be in vienna for chi in april. i mean, fuck. yeah, it was impulsive, the whole london thing, but for fuck's sake...why the hell not? and the doctor said the other day that it was the first real sign of my true self returning after all this time. so it's an apa sanctioned trip. rock on.

hey julie wherever you are.

it's hard sometimes, you know? to trust again? i mean in so many ways this last relationship was based on so many lies that it seems like i just dreamt the whole thing up...it's funny that i have nothing at all to say to you, that i have no interest at all in "catching up," or being friends. and how quickly that happened.

thank god i got my hair cut when i did.

h.f.g. it's november. i feel like i could throw up at any minute now. nanowrimo is making me completely ill and yet i can't seem to be able to fucking stop the car.